INSPIRED: Elizabeth Gilbert on Creativity

Daniel

Recession

Annie Clark of St. Vincent at Urban Lounge- SLC, Utah

Click HERE to hear her new song Surgeon.

Redondo Beach Birds

Mother Photographer!

I often tell Kiera and Shawna that I feel somewhat jealous of my male colleagues who leave their homes behind for work. I imagine an endless well of focus, of brainstorming, and of planning. Stringless errand running! No babysitters to coordinate! Ah! The freedom. I do realize that I've created a covetous world that these man friends live in and I know it isn't real but still, but still. As a mother, as a full-time mother who loves mothering, I find myself making excuses for myself artistically and this male photog idealization is an example of one.

It feels nearly impossible to work at developing creative ideas when my work away from home seems like all I can do. If I'm out of the house for 10 hours a week and editing late into the night for 10, then I begin to feel that the only work I can do is the work that comes in. Forget personal work! Booking and shooting is great but it is no better than sitting down to paint without a concept, than trying to teach a lesson without putting in the time for inspiration. If I shoot to book then complacency results from exhaustion and I become overly confident about last years ideas, when this year had totally new and unique ideas to offer that I passed by because I "didn't have time" to explore them and develop them.

Here is the fact about my life as a photographer and a mother. I choose both of these passions. I choose two close-in-age babies. I choose the multifaceted heart-on-your-sleeve work of being a photographer. I choose the triumph and trial of both and I want to live the width of both. I cannot be away from these babies without it mattering. I want to be deliberate and if that means taking a few hours a week to brainstorm or work on something personal then I must. I owe it to myself first and foremost and if clients book then I count that as a blessing after an obedience so to speak.

Business, personal work, composition- the excuses are in the fabric of every creative vision and if they aren't sorted and burned then my work suffers. It is extremely hard to find ways to let ideas grow. And I am convinced that every artist needs to find their approach individually. For me, ideas come and I am fortunate in that way, but developing the initial impression is a thing I feel too guilty or too busy to do. Why? Isn't that bushel hiding? I realized a few weeks ago that it is. So I decided to brainstorm again. So I sat with myself and admitted what I don't know, what I like and what my strengths are. I dissected my Pinterest boards and I asked myself, of particular and compelling images, over and over and over, "Why do I like this?"

Unless my photographs speak to me of some fear conquered or some idea expressed then I loose interest quickly and I can't see myself in my work. At that point my time away from my family is, in my mind, wasted. I may as well work somewhere where my work can be left behind at night because though personal business ownership is filled with benefits and freedom, leaving it behind (mentally, emotionally or physically) is not often one of them.

Process

I could wear on and on about the word "influence" and I could list long lists of places I find it. Lately I've been finding it in impressionistic paintings and really, I find it in painting in general. I don't want to paint my subject literally, but I want to be scrutinizing and still like a painter. I want to brainstorm like a painter who buys color and canvas with intention, who paints with patience and composes deliberately. Deliberately. Slowly. Consciously. Creatively.

That stillness does not come easy for me, but when I do it I get results. Until now I have perceived it as something that cannot be found but that just comes. Like a storm. It is not a storm. It's a chore that you can sit back after and say, "Wow, this looks better. This feels better."

Creation vs Re-Creation

It is impossible and exhausting to try to create the created. As Joni Mitchell once said, "A painter does a painting and he does a painting that's it. He's had the joy of creating it...but nobody ever said to Van Gogh, 'Paint the Starry Night again man!' He painted it- that was it!"

Sure, you can attempt to paint the same subject with the same paints but you can't paint the same thing twice. It's lame to want a photographer to paint you just like she painted the client before you and it's lame to be the photographer who tries to paint what someone else paints. Re-creation is futile, completely.

The cool thing about being a photographer is that work has the potential to be different every single time. Sure dudes, you can get stuck in repetitious ruts but the images are still different. A photographer's vision and perspective has the potential to superimpose themselves creatively and entirely every time, and every time that vision can be expressed through the variables of color, pattern, place, faces, light, composition, etc. My fascination with impermanence, timelessness, imperfection, reality and impressions can be represented in every image I choose to show or I can just take pictures. Pictures that say nothing, feel nothing, do nothing.

I do best when I ask myself, "Why do I like that?" to explore what I am drawn to. I think this is the only way I can close the gap between taking photos I hope my client will like and taking photos I am proud of. Get the picture? Sure, you get it. You get your own. No need to try and get someone else's.

Shelby

The Russell Family

Drawn

My attraction to an artist's work is usually the result of them not fearing the very things I fear. These artists don't agree with my fears or limitations. They see an opportunity where I see a roadblock, they see freedom where I see restriction. These inspirers see differently and when I see their work I am driven to find my own fearlessness as they have found theirs.

When I realized these things a few weeks ago I realized how far reaching that realization reaches. Maybe these attractions are one way for us to discover a necessary direction. I am drawn to lighting and temperatures right now but you know what? I've felt actual fear in the fact that I don't know much about them. Choosing to perceive that fear as attraction and a necessary learning has made me feel more fulfilled as a photographer. Ah perspective! A gift from the gods.

Fearless folk:

Olivia Bee

Amanda James

Max Wanger

Seth Smoot

Dan O'Day

Low at Velour-Provo, Utah

There are few musicians that captivate me as well and as surely as Alan Sparkhawk. A few years ago he showed up at Kilby Court for a Retribution Gospel Choir performance wearing a ghost costume and put on the most amazing rock show. His charismatic stage presence is unmatched. Anyone who has been to a Low concert knows what I mean. I meant to communicate that in these images which I think I've done pretty damned well. Velour's drama queen lighting and smoke/fog machine don't hurt either.

Oh! I almost forgot! I made a crappy video and uploaded it HERE.